Tag Archives: thanksgiving

everything you think you know about thanksgiving is wrong.

the heart warming fable of thanksgiving, unsurprisingly, ends up being a whole lot more complicated than some of us were taught and answers the nagging question of how squanto spoke perfect english when the pilgrims arrived and what was happening during the 100 year interim between columbus and the pilgrims ( spoiler: it involves human trafficking, enslavement and villages being wiped out ). and if you’re a stickler for tradition, you should put ditch the turkey and cranberry sauce for salted pork and olives since the spanyiards were the first to celebrate thanksgiving 50 years before the pilgrims.

wherein we spatchcocked the thanksgiving turkey ( and it was delicious ).

wherein we spatchcocked the thanksgiving turkey ( and it was delicious ).

typically we travel for thanksgiving and i’m not “in charge” of The Bird so i don’t have strongly held opinions about The Best Method to Cook To Cook a Turkey. but this year, we stayed home and i found myself wondering how on earth i was going to cook the Twenty Three Pound Organic Poultry Monster in our freezer that was too big to fit in any of our pans. and i know enough about turkey to understand that cooking a bird that big without special prep would probably result in a bird with dried out breasts. what to do? spatchcock the bird by removing the backbone and flattening it out before cooking.

i learned about the technique from a serious eats article from a few years back, “How to Cook a Spatchcocked Turkey: The Fastest, Easiest Thanksgiving Turkey”:

“This particular method is for folks who don’t give a damn about whether or not the whole, barely-adulterated bird makes an appearance at the table, but want the fastest, quickest, easiest route to juicy meat, and ultra-crisp skin. Basically, it’s a method for lazy folks with great taste. ”

i don’t know about the lazy part, but i do know i don’t care much about having a perfect bird presented on the table but i do care a lot about the juicy, crispy, fast part! and as an added bonus, i could cut the bird in half and cook the monster in a more manageable manner. ( side note, apparently spatchcocking turkeys is A Thing thanks to mark bittman ).

i followed the serious eats directions and removed the backbone and cooked at 450F for about 90 minutes. whoila! crispy skin and incredibly juicy meat.

henceforce, if i’m in charge, all the turkeys will be spatchcocked!

day 3435: bellies full and building to be done.

day 3435: bellies full and building to be done.

odin and his younger cousin zachary don’t get a chance to see each other very often so it’s fun to see them getting along like no time has passed at all after thanksgiving dinner.

they both love legos and building stuff so that makes it extra easy. getting a non-fake smile out of the two of them at the same time, not so much 🙂

odin got a chance to play with other younger cousins this thanksgiving too. hopefully i’ll get a group shot tomorrow. it’s funny because when he visit other family he’s the young cousin but now he’s The Big Cousin. there’s more responsibility when you’re the eldest cousin 🙂

advanced turkey day trolling

it’s thanksgiving and family and friends are gathered around the table, possibly drinking which we can all agree makes for the perfect time for trolling! first, get schooled with some “all in the family” thanksgiving fun but you really don’t want to easily being identified as a troll so avoid the easy arguments. maybe ease in with how the smartest people prefer twitter and move on to how yoga wrecks your body. or just go right for the apocalyptic and accounce we’re headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.