the snowdeal show ® : the really, realest, real reality show
i have this idea for a new reality tv show. my
own reality tv show. and it’ll be much more real than the
realest
real
because, well, it’s real. we’ve already shot the pilot and have the
first few shows in the can. based on intial audience response, it’s
sure to be a big hit.
of course, everyone loves babies, so the show starts when
one of us gets pregnant
. just to keep things edgy we’ll thumb our nose at traditional
medicine and
have an in-home birth with a midwife
. surely that’ll keep the viewers coming back for more. a subplot
develops where
kris and i sell our house
the “for sale by owner way”. it has all the ups and downs
associated with getting ready to sell your house, complete with
tight close ups of me scowling as i wish that i had pitched this
segment of my reality show as more of a
“while
you were out”
type of thing. coyly, kris and keep where we’re moving
a secret
.
eventually we let the audience in on the big surprise as they
discover that we purchased a “4-flat” in the historic district.
it’s a huge old victorian built in 1890 that promises to hold many
surprises. not only will becoming landlords offer many suspenseful
subplots, but to keep the ratings going through the roof, the
audience discovers that we co-purchased the house with our
sister-in-law and her lesbian partner. that’s right – we’re moving
in with a pregnant lebian couple who
already have a two year old
and are
expecting another baby within days our own
! and they’re having it at home too! sweet holy ol’ hannah you can
imagine the eyeballs we’ll get on that episode. two births! at
home! will it be on exactly the same day? you really can’t make
this kind of stuff up. you’ll only see it on the snowdeal show
®. think of it as a “the brady bunch” meets “three’s company” meets “friends” with just a touch of “the ‘L’ word”.
in one amusing subplot in the first episode, we fret about the
malamute escaping from the house and running up and down the busy
street, not knowing that he no longer lives on a quiet cul de sac.
of course, he escapes multiple times and hilarity ensues as we chase him
up and down the block trying to keep cars from hitting the
blissfully unaware malamute. in another long running plot, i wonder
what i’m going to do with the
galaxie 500
, as there’s no room to park it in the back of building.
so stay tuned to the snowdeal show ® and watch as we discover
how the tenants adjust to living with two new owners in the
building, with four dogs, a baby, and two increasingly pregnant
woman. how will i adjust to heretofore unknown levels of estrogen
flowing through the house? will i go insane? will i be reduced to
working on the galaxie 500 at 3 in the morning much to the anoyance
of my neighbors? even i don’t know for sure.
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