given my
impending fatherhood, it’s probably not surprising that i’m finding myself reading more and more online parenting resources as i try to get myself informed about being a dad. of course, i’m aware that anything i might think i know will blown away when “the boots hit the ground”, but it’s still good to start pondering this stuff ahead of time. take, for instance, tantrums. what the heck do you do about tantrums? we’ve quietly been taking notes over the years, and it seems that no matter how hard you try, tantrums are inevitable. and just as inevitable, it seems, are the gentle “power struggles” that emerge from tantrums. do you just let them play out? are you a bad person for letting your screaming toddler scream away in the beer aisle of the convenience store? in any case,
Cry for Connection: A Fresh Approach to Tantrums seems to make a lot of intuitive sense:

“But what if, contrary to what we’ve grown up believing, tantrums and other expressions of feelings are actually useful? What if a tantrum is like an emotional sneeze–a natural reaction meant to clear out foreign material? Perhaps the usual struggle of parent versus child at emotional moments doesn’t have to take place. Perhaps we can throw away the mental chalkboard on which every meltdown is a mark against our children or ourselves.”

but what do i know? if anyone has any advice, i’d be mighty obliged. hey, john and snakehairedgirl [ and others ], i’m talking to you.