Tag Archives: odin

the eric update – day 27: the ho-hums

day 27: ponderous

we spent a lot of time at the nicu today, just keeping an eye on eric. he’s had a few more “a’s” and “b’s” than normal over that past few days and his oxygen levels have been turned up ( room air is about 20% oxygen and after a long stint of not having any supplemental oxygen, he’s getting anywhere between 25 and 30%. the bloody goo problems are continuing and it’s raising the background level of anxiety as we’re spending more time tapping his butt or rubbing his back to try and get him to breath. we discussed things with his nurse practitioner and from her perspective he’s still doing really, really fantastic. and concurred with kris’ observation that the bloody goo problems and the cpap mask are part of a vicious circle. the air in the cpap mask dries out his throat and the suction catheter makes the irritated parts bleed. it just comes with the territory. here’s to hoping it doesn’t continue for too much longer, because at this rate he’s not going to want anyone to touch every touch his nose after he gets out for a very, very long time.

day 27: four 0'clock prep time

we also didn’t get much ‘roo time in today as the only chair that fully reclines was in use and if we try to do the ‘roo while sitting upright, we find that his neck muscles can’t keep his head in the rights positions to get him a steady supply of air. so instead, we just hung around his bed and kept him company.

kris talks with eric a nurse beth does her regularly scheduled nasty things to him. he’s moving his head around looking at all of us as kris talks to him and holds his hand.

he’s just had his cpap mask taken off and you can how the cpap regime makes his eyes red and swollen. this time it’s not too bad, but sometimes it looks quite uncomfortable. he’s on the cpap mask for 4 hours and the nasal cannula for 4 hours. hopefully soon, he’ll be off the mask entirely.

[ update: much later in the day ( o.k. maybe it was technically early, early the following day, i did get to hold him for awhile; the nicu was abuzz with reports of a possible ’22 weeker’ being admitted, but as our nurse said, everyone is hoping that they can delay the birth, since – as she put it – “22 weeks is not really, well, compatible with life.” it’s odd to look at eric and know that there’s just two short weeks between their birth gestational ages. a lot of biology must happen in those two weeks. ]

day 27: ears and gray hair

while i normally hate pictures of myself, and would typically despise pictures that featured by ear prominantly, i think i’ll make an exception with this one. there’s something i like about the composition of the ears and my hairy head with his not-so-hairy one.

and i i can blame all my gray hair on eric. see, it’s not that i’m old – people with black hair go gray prematurely. and having a 24 weeker doesn’t help the situation.

glad i cleaned my ears that morning. and no, that’s not a mullet. honest.

day 27: the cpap machine

with all the commentary about it, i realized that i hadn’t taken a photo of the cpap machinery. it looks innocuous, no?

i don’t think you understand just how difficult it is to take an interesting shot of a cpap respirator.

day 27: eyes on you

he’s on his belly, but that doesn’t mean he doesnt want to look at you.

the eric update – day 26: beating the wrap. more bloody goo. and personalized snugglies.

day 26: doing "the swim"

today, eric took one of those teeny, little micropreemie steps that gets him one step closer to being released. he finally beat the wrap! literally. in other words they don’t have to cover his bed in plastic wrap to help keep his body temperature stable. it’s a big deal for a micropreem to be able to maintain his or her own temperature ( in fact it’s one of the release criteria ) and while he can’t do it all on his own, he’s making great progress.

he’s threw more “a’s” ( apneas or stopping breathing ) and “b’s” ( bradycardia or stopping breathing ) today than usual, almost all of them due to mucus and goo collecting in his nasal passages and throat. the nurses joke that eric is “slimy”. it’s not super unusual, but the downside is that they can only get the gunk out by thrusting a tube into his nose and suctioning it out. as i’ve noted before, he doesn’t like it at all and the downside is that you can imagine that the suction tube irritates his passages and he’s getting a bit more blood in the stuff they are suctioning out. it’s one of those things that’s “normal”, but that gets harder and harder to watch day in and day out. and bloody nasal passages seem like nice little areas for infections to grow, so kris and i spend a lot of time just wishing he’d be a little less slimy.

day 26: personalized snugglies

in addition to postcards, eric is receiving surprise gifts! a friend of a friend of a friend who had twins that graduated from the other nicu in town sent us custom bedding! they were hand made by a nicu doctor and they kept her twins bundled; if you look down in the lower left corner you can see that she even stiched “snowdeal” on the bedding so it doesn’t get lost in the laundry.

dang. that’s some serious kindness from a stranger.

the bedding is reversed so i could get the stitched name in the shot with him. you might notice the cloth straps which are used to really give him a bundled feeling. micropreems get distressed at the sudden lack of boundaries and really like feeling things pressing around them which they lost when they were suddenly taken out of the womb.

jeanne, thank you.

earth angel

a family member bought eric a little angel with his name on it a day or two into his stay at the nicu. for some reason, it kept falling off the stand on his radiant warming bed which would lead to endless “fallen angel” and “the angel fell down on the job” jokes from the staff. somebody came up with the idea of putting it in a plastic bag and hanging it over the edge of a stand on the bed.

for some reason it makes me chuckle whenever i see it.

the eric update – day 25: a tantrum and a little perspective.

day 25: the tantrum I.

with eric IV looking quite content much of the time ( except, of course, when his care routine requires that not-so-fun things are done to him ), i found myself wondering when he was having those tantrums that preemies are famous for. sure, he can get worked up sometimes, clenching his fists and thrusting his feet and making little squeaks. but i we’ve never seen a full-blown, let-out-all-the-stops tantrum. not that you want to see a tantrum, but still. and so, with perfect timing, soon after i arrived this evening, eric decided that something was not right ( of course, it couldn’t have been my voice. no, certainly it wasn’t that ) and started trying to launch himself right out of the bed. and the screaming. if there was any doubt, him pipes are developing well. this went on for about a minute and no amount of consolation from me or kris was helping one iota.

day 25: the tantrum II.

that’s when nurse jan decided it was time to bring in the passifier, because if he has a tantrum for too long then he’ll stop breathing and that’s no good.

day 25:  big hand.  little hand.

the only problem is that he doesn’t really know how to suck on the passifier and breath at the same time, so it’s a delicate balance. eventually, he figures it out and i rest my hand on him, which helps a little too, i guess.

day 25:  postcards

the postcards have started coming in! i’m not sure the nurses believed me when i told them that he was going to start getting cards from all over the world. we’ve just received a few so far, but is suspect they’ll be trickling in for awhile. we were very touched by the kind story from a nice person we don’t know who hails from santa clarita, california. it’s going to be hard to maintain my cynical side if people keep up with such random acts of kindness.

day 25: more 'roo

kris is continuing with her record setting ‘roo sessions. she might do two sessions a day at about 2 or 3 hours apiece ( i bet she’d go longer, but that’s the longest she can go before she has to “pump” ). as i said yesterday, there are many factors involved in how well eric is doing, but i really think all the kangaroo care is big factor. we’re fantastically fortunate that kris can spend so much time in the nicu. she teaches at the local college and has the summer off, so she can spend as much time as she likes with eric. and of course, she likes to spend a lot of time with him ( not that i don’t, silly. you know what i mean. ).

day 25: bearer of the ring

ahhhhhh. it’s the ol’, “put your wedding ring on his diaper to give a sense of perspective” trick. with all the close-ups, it’s easy to forget just how small he still remains ( although he has grown 3.5 inches centimeters ( arrgggh. there’s a big difference between inches in centimeters. i think 3.5 cm is a little over an inch. ) since birth. yeah!).

the eric update – day 24: by the light of the radiant warmer.

day 24:  YAPOETIE

eric’s making it all look so easy. he’s on 6 cc’s an hour of breastmilk and they aren’t pulling out any undigested fluid from his stomach so his digestive track appears to be working well. i forgot to mention that he’s begun pooping on his own. for the first few weeks they had to help out him out by giving what must have been a very small suppository, but i think he’s pooping all by himself now. sniff. they grow up so fast. not much change in his “orders” other than they’ve officially moved him to 4 hours of CPAP and 4 hours of the nasal cannula. and he’s in room air with no supplemental ‘oooohs’ ( oxygen ). at this rate i suspect he’ll be on the cannula full-time quite soon, which is yet another great step forward.

i don’t get to spend as much time in the nicu these days, but kris is on constant vigil and he had over 4 hours of kangaroo care with her, in addition to my paltry 1.5 hours. prayers and good thoughts, genetics and fantastic nicu care notwithstanding, i think that all the ‘roo time is having a trememdous impact on his overall health.

day 24: by the light of the radiant warmer I.

one of the sensory pleasures of the nicu is provided by the heating element that’s placed above him in his radiant warming bed. the heating element helps eric keep his body temperature in a normal range and it glows more or less brightly depending on how well eric is bundled and whether or not eric’s bed is enclosed in plastic wrap. if you’re taking pictures or reading or talking to eric, the heating element really kicks in and it can get uncomfortably hot. you might discover that if you’ve had no sleep on 20 cups of coffee and nothing but a slice of toast to get you through breakfast lunch and dinner that leaning under the radiant heating element might make you feel a little funny. so you might decide to bide time by taking a “mirror” shot while wondering how many mirror project submissions are from people looking at themselves looking at a radiant warmer. prolly not many.

day 24: by the light of the radiant warmer II.

this is what the radiant warmer looks like from eric’s perspective.

i guess since micropreemies like looking at patterns with lots of contrast that he just might find it appealing.

day 24: by the light of the radiant warmer III.

as you’re grasping the bed trying to maintain your stability, what with being baked under the radiant heating element and sweating caffeine, you realize that you’ve seen this caution message a thousand times while continually pondering what “insensible water loss” means. later, google will provide the answer as it usually does.

the eric update – day 23: more good news. and more ‘admits’.

day 23: turn out the lights!  a series.  I

eric had another great day today. he’s up to 6 cc’s per hour on his feeds and tolerating them extremely well. he weighed in a 1 pound 10.8 ounces which means after losing a little over the past day or so, he gained a full ounce in the past 24 hours. i think we’ll be getting close to being able to reliable count down to when he’ll hit the 2 pound mark, which will be a big milestone. they also been alternating between his CPAP ( the face mask ) and the nasal cannula ( the nose tubes ). his “orders” dictated that he was to be alternated on the CPAP for 6 hours and N.C. for 2 hours, but due to a unexpected change in the plan he was was on the nasal cannula for 5 hours today and didn’t start throwing an excessive amount of alarms. since the cannula takes more effort on his part, this means that he’s even stronger than his care plan might otherwise indicate.

day 23: turn out the lights!  a series.  II

the nurses are becoming a little more unguarded in their assessments of how well eric is doing. all the praise is followed with the necessary caveats, but you can tell that they are very, very, very(!) happy with how well he is doing.

day 23: turn out the lights!  a series.  III

of course, we’re tremendously grateful for the comments on his progress, if a bit apprehensive about the possibility of potential downturns.

day 23: turn out the lights!  a series.  IV

we were “kicked out” tonight several times because of the number of new admits ( visitors aren’t allowed when newcomers are brought in ). i wasn’t there at the time, but kris met one of the new dads who was getting a tour of the nicu as his wife was being prepped for the delivery of a 27 weeker.

day 23: turn out the lights!  a series.  V

the nurses showed him eric in an attempt to let him see how well a baby born so soon can do, and he could only muster a gasp as he tried to take it all in.

the eric update – day 22: a day of the (extra)ordinaries

day 22: lounge act

here’s to hoping that i can continue with weeks and weeks of posts that are as boring as this one. nothing much extraordinary happened. well, nothing much beyond a relaxing day filled with five hours of kangaroo care with kris, a diaper change from yours truly ( the second one! kris is not exactly quick draw mcgraw with the camera so we don’t get to see any pictures of me changing him. sniff. ), a bit of eye contact now and then and some quality reading time. of course, he still likes throwing out the occasional “a’s” and “b’s” ( nicu lingo for apneas and bradycardias ), but none of them were long enough to make him turn gray or blue, so that’s progress.

i don’t know how he does it, but he seems to spend a lot time trying to impress upon you just how comfortable he is despite it all. trust me. you know when he’s not comfortable. like when he gets done with kangaroo care. then he turns into a writhing mass of clenched fists and thrusting feet while emitting little squeaks.

day 22: watcher

i like how he tends to open his eyes when i come to his beside to visit. his eyesight is probably no better than 20/600 so it’s best to stand 6-10 inches away. he’s getting better at staying focused on the center of your face when you talk, but he also tends to let his eyes wander around the periphery of your face, which is fairly “normal”. i think in about 3 weeks he’s going to have a set of tests from an eye specialist who is going to be looking for signs of a common problem in micropreemies known as retinopathy of prematurity, which is caused by abnormal blood vessels in the eyes. as with most conditions, there are many different stages and manifestations and variable degrees of success from a cadre of treatment options.

it’s my understanding that he’s at a decreased risk for ROP because his “oooohs” ( nicu lingo for the percentage of oxygen that is added to the air going through his CPAP mask ) have always remained remarkably low. in other words, the staff doesn’t have to add much oxygen for him to have and adequate supply in his blood. while oxygen is obviously important, too much of a good thing can cause abnormal blood vessel growth.

but one must always remember that decreased risk does not mean no risk; for now, it’s impossible to know if he has any manifestation of ROP, so it’s strange to look at his beautiful eyes and wonder if there are problems lurking ahead. it’s just one more thing that you try to prepare yourself for, while still attempting to enjoy the moments you do get to look into his eyes.

day 22: call of the wild

in addition to some reading about pooh, eric very much enjoys being read “call of the wild”. for some reason he identifies with buck, a courageous dog, who is ripped from his cushy surroundings and forced into a life-and-death struggle in the alaskan wilderness where he must learn how to use his wits to survive.

day 22: footsie

after all the heaviness inherent in buck and his amazing adventures, eric finds the time to enjoy a light game of ‘footsie’. well. o.k. it’s not really footsie, but it’s the best we can muster at the moment.

notice that piglet really, really wants to play along too.

the eric update – day 21: otherwise known as odin.

day 21: relaxing on his 3rd week birthday

update!

since even before eric’s surprise birth, we’ve struggled with what to name him. i was always a fan of naming him eric c snowdeal IV, because – well – you have to admit it’s a bit of an unusual name; you don’t see many fourths and certainly not that many that sound so nordic. i mean, eric all by itself is a scandinavian name meaning ever-powerful and certainly a last name like snowdeal adds to the effect. and as a young boy, i knew firsthand how much fun it can be to imagine yourself as eric the red, doing the fun things that vikings are supposed to do. and when you get older, you realize that it’s handy to have people not ever forget your name too.

kris, however, was almost never a fan of naming eric, eric. too much confusion. essentially if she were going to yell at us, who would know who she was yelling at (it’s a joke!)? and kris she was very much in favor of naming the baby an “‘ooooh’ name. that’s right. kris likes the letter “O” and thinks it’s entirely underused in the name game. and in what is best described as “woman’s intuition”, kris felt very strongly that the baby should have an “O” name. it’s not like she had visions of ancient people telling her to name the baby an “O” name, but “you know. some people know their baby is going to be a boy; i knew he was going to be a boy and was going to have an “O” name.” go figure. also, given kris’ finnish background and her long time interest in things scandinavian, she also found herself gravitating towards nordic/scandinavian/finnish sounding names.

so, in the spirit of compromise we decided that if we had a boy, we’d name him eric on his birth certificate but give him a nickname that began with “O” to reduce confusion and keep kris happy. as an aside, the night of eric’s birth, we briefly flirted with the idea of naming him “independence” ( and nicknaming him “indy” ), but – i think wisely – we quickly shelved the idea after a few the surgeons and nurses winced when we told them our plans. so we stuck with the original plan. family members also pointed out that being ‘the fourth’ born on the fourth was pretty neat too.

but then we ran into a new problem. we couldn’t find a single boy’s “O” name that we liked. don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with oliver, but they didn’t seem to fit when we looked at eric and said his name. the choices were even more limited if we looked for names with a scandinavian feel ( with all due apologies to every otto in the world. it’s a perfectly fine name, but it didn’t seem to fit well for eric’s nickname. ) and besides, if you’re going to have a nickname, you had better have a story about the nickname that’s better than, “well, my mom had an intuition that my nickname would begin with the letter ‘O’ and oliver was the least worst choice.”

at some point, my sister-in-law mentioned “odin” and kris immediately took to the name. i was skeptical at first. i’m not an expert in norse mythology, but it seems like naming your child after a norse god is just asking for trouble. but kris didn’t care. she liked the name and didn’t really give one wit if a norse god already had it or how much people might scratch their heads when they heard it. though she said that she hadn’t officially decided, i could overhear her over the past few weeks, calling eric by odin on an increasingly frequent basis; so i knew it was going to be an uphill battle ( ahem. that’s a not-so-subtle odin pun. ).

a few days ago, kris sent me a link to a site about the norse god odin and it didn’t do a whole lot to convince me that it was a great idea. sure, there’s a few qualities that seemed metaphorically appropriate, but once again, it seems like your asking for trouble when you give your child the nickname of a norse god whose job description is, in part, to usher the dead to the netherworld. one can imagine him using the, “look. i’m odin! if you don’t let me go over to sarah’s house and watch reruns of “the dukes of hazzard”, i’m going to have to go get thor. and you know what that means. whoopass.” at every chance when he gets older.

and so today in the nicu, as i was getting ready to potentially dig in my heels and more strongly suggest the merits of more traditional “O” names, kris started to gesticulate wildly, letting out bursts of “oooh. oooh.” and trying her best to nonchalantly point to the young family at the bassinet across the way. as i’m looking trying to figure out what on earth had her so excited, i could finally see it. tattooed on the father’s calf we could clearly see a large, bright rendering of odin’s knot. the very same odin’s knot that we saw at the top of the website about odin just days earlier. neither of us had seen the symbol before we visited the website and certainly didn’t know of it’s association with odin and hadn’t ever seen the tattoo on the man’s calf.

don’t get me wrong – i’m not attaching any Great Metaphysical Weight to the coincidence. as i’ve said before, i’m a skeptic’s skeptic and usually fall into the camp of people who think that it’s a big universe and based on the laws of probability alone odd and funny things will happen on occasion ( i can see legions of family members simultaneously gasping and clasping their hands to their mouths in horror, but really, it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise after all these years. i guess it would be important to point out that i’ve also never been able to disavow myself of the rumsfeldian notion that while there are many things that i know that i know – there are many, many more things that i don’t know that i don’t know. i just don’t know how to know what you don’t know that you don’t know. you know? ) in any case, getting back to the point at hand, i’m not inclined to think spooky “things that go bump in the night” types of thoughts about the whole situation, but it does seem like if you’re contemplating nicknaming your child odin and you find out that the people sitting next to you in the nicu are odin’s number one fans, you simply can’t not name him odin, if not only because it breaks the rules that one must follow when one Happens Upon A Great Story.

now, i’m still slightly wary of nicknaming our child after a norse god, but kris likes it, we get to fulfill her woman’s intuition, and it most definitely has a great story. and that’s why – when eric gets older and he introduces himself – he might just tell you that he’s otherwise known as odin.

update: super mega bonus points will be awarded to whomever sends eric a postcard from either odin, illinois or odin, minnesota.