i was rummaging through some boxes and found this polaroid taken by one of the nicu nurses. it’s not dated but i’m guessing that it’s day 8 which was the very first day we were able to hold odin ( our nicu had a “no holding while on the high oscilating ventilator” rule ) so it was a very special day.
and until today i forgot that there was a picture of me holding him ( always being the one taking pictures does have a downside ). so i’m quite happy to have “rescued” it before it completely deteriorated.
odin is bundled in multiple layers of blankets because he basically had no ability to regulate his temperature at that point and the nurses called him “lil’ peanut”. it seems impossible, but the layers of blankets made him look bigger than he actually was.
i guess i look sort-of relaxed, but in truth i was dog-tired since i hadn’t slept in 8 days, and i was completely and totally freaked out that his vitals were going to go all wiggety wack while i was holding him; at that point he was regularly “forgetting” to breath ( actually his brain stem wasn’t developed enough to control breathing because, well, he wasn’t supposed to be breathing yet ) and i hadn’t quite gotten used to the phenomenon.