i have lived
the Abilene Paradox
on so many occasions and in so many contexts that it’s pathetic:
“Four adults are sitting on a porch in 104-degree heat in the small town of Coleman, Texas, some 53 miles from Abilene. They are engaging in as little motion as possible, drinking lemonade, watching the fan spin lazily, and occasionally playing the odd game of dominoes. The characters are a married couple and the wife’s parents. At some point, the wife’s father suggests they drive to Abilene to eat at a cafeteria there. The son-in-law thinks this is a crazy idea but doesn’t see any need to upset the apple cart, so he goes along with it, as do the two women. They get in their unair-conditioned Buick and drive through a dust storm to Abilene. They eat a mediocre lunch at the cafeteria and return to Coleman exhausted, hot, and generally unhappy with the experience. It is not until they return home that it is revealed that none of them really wanted to go to Abilene–they were just going along because they thought the others were eager to go. Naturally, everyone sees this miss in communication as someone else’s problem!”
but now i’ve got a name and a pithy little story, which i’m going to use whenever i start to see the danger signs. i look forward to screaming, “abilene paradox!” and launching into the parable about driving to coleman, texas. indeed, i’m sure friends family and co-workers will benefit greatly from me shouting “abilene paradox!” as much as possible.